Congratulations Dad! Happy Father's Day

Today is Father's Day, enjoy.

Congratulations new father and fathers-to-be. What awaits you is a wonderful journey, rich in rewards and joy. Fatherhood is more than creating a new life; it is the creation of a family. Any man who has gazed deeply into the eyes of his beautiful child knows the joy hidden there.  Now that Father’s Day is here, I want to speak directly to you, one father to another, about your pivotal role in supporting breastfeeding.

Being a father is a demanding job. No longer can a man be content to provide financial support to his family and call it a day. Today’s father is expected to be a team player with the mother of his children. He is required to shoulder an equal load of child care; he is expected to be wise, an ardent supporter of his family, and a source of inspiration, love, and advice.

These days, perhaps more than ever before, men find themselves wanting to take an active role in their children’s lives. We attend antenatal appointments, childbirth and breastfeeding classes. We are openly invited into labor and delivery and actively engage in the birth, we are encouraged to cut the umbilical cord, and to spend the first days in the hospital with our new family.  We are there from before the beginning and plan to be there until the end. But many of us know very little about the process and even less about what to do when we hold that beautiful little baby in our arms for the first time.

In today’s digital age, filled with instant satisfaction, and a constant desire for news, families face pressure to share the details with the world immediately.  Everyone wants to know how much the new baby weighs, how long he is, they want a picture, a Facebook post and even regular Tweets. Often the first few days are a blur of sleepless nights, an endless parade of well-meaning health care staff trying to teach you everything, days filled with visitors, demands for information and, when we can fit it in, child care. When that time comes ask yourself, “What are my priorities?” Are you there to meet the needs of your wife and child or of those around you? The answer is obvious. So go to it. Limit visitors, turn off your devices; the details can wait a few days, and recommend to friends and well-wishers that they bring you dinner next week rather than visit in the hospital. Encourage your partner to rest, and help her to avoid distractions that steal precious time away from her most important job, mothering. A father has always been looked upon to support and protect his family. To many of us, it is our greatest joy in life. Do that and everything will fall into place. We instinctively know what to do; all we have to do is listen and our soul will tell us what to do.

Take an active role in supporting the breastfeeding relationship between your partner and child. Breastfeeding is the most wondrous thing that a mother can do for her children. Today, more than 75% of new mothers intend to breastfeed, but less than half of them are successful. A major cause of such wide spread failure is a lack of timely information. Too often there is no one around to help when mom needs it most. You can be that helping hand that your partner needs, you can be up to the task. You, my friend, are the coach. You are a source of information, guidance, and motivation.  Your job is to make her job easier. All fathers need to know the basics and reinforce what the mother hears, to counter bad advice, and troubleshoot. Remember Dad, you are the only one who will be there at 3 AM when your beloved has questions.  You can’t feed the baby, you don’t have breasts, but you can help her feed the baby, and that will make all the difference. You are the one that she trusts, she loves, and ultimately, you are the one that she will listen to. When you are well prepared, supportive and engaged, you and she will find success. 

So what do you have to do? The three most important questions you have may be: When does your baby need to breastfeed? How does your baby breastfeed?  When will your baby be finished breastfeeding? The answers to these questions are often detailed. Take the time early on to ask your midwife or breastfeeding supporter these questions. Get the answers, remember them, and use them when the time is right. Be prepared to help your family breastfeed. Learn the signs of a good latch (nose and chin touching the breast, puffy cheeks, wide open jaw, flared lips up and down, and no pain). Learn the steps that can be taken to fix a bad latch, and learn how to tell that your baby is taking breastmilk. Have the telephone numbers of your LLL leader and IBCLC handy.

 You are the coach, the support, the source of information, and the emergency advice line. Now it’s over to you. Get to work!